canal drop!!!

encroaching shrub fires...

beautiful smoke enduced sunset

Garage artwork

garlic husk run for compost and pond sealing material

The days are rapidly turning into hours as my time here at the farm is coming to an end. For now. As I was flipping flap jacks this morning for the crew over the outdoor wood fire, I was just thinking what an overwhelming task it seemed a few months ago to light a fire every time I even wanted to boil water. Now, with a snap of some twigs, I have a roaring fire and the culinary delights that have taken place over these fires!! So, while I made pancakes, a treat on our "day off" - whatever that means- some young ladies from sweden were smashing peanuts for peanut butter, Dan from portland was attempting to peel a papaya while giving the worm and chicken bins more fruit than what he was leaving for us. Caroline from the US was collecting overripe and maggot ridden bananas for fresh smoothies.... Luckily I caught her in time before she blended the squiggling little guys. Hopefully the chickens will enjoy those. Christian was "sleeping in" for once after our big night of fire fighting. So, every dry, hot season in Thailand (did I mention it is oppressively hot and dry here now?) villagers and hill tribe people start burning all of their crops to clean and rid their forests of undergrowth. Well, in permaculture this is a huge no no, especially in the tropics as the soil food web needs every bit of organic matter it can get to build healthy topsoil. If all the leaves and twigs and shrubs are burned every year there is never any decomposition..... Anyways, so the fires creep into the national forests where villagers also plant crops and know one takes any mind or cares to stop them. So, since we are surrounded by national forest, for weeks the smoke and flames have been closing in on us. We have a large fire break around the property, but last night the flames were right on the hill and we did not want charring in the beautiful forest that borders the mango orchards so hoes in hand we trudged through the thick growth and battled the fires encroaching upon us. After that a bit of indulgence into our winery, last nights pick was pineapple/ginger wine - and relished in the waning adrenaline rush of stomping burning leaves as ash fluttered down around us.

So, with the fires, smoke and heat, I think it is a fine timing to be wrapping my time here.

I am enjoying planning my return with lots of enthusiasm and momentum to dive into projects and stimulating events, but also staying completely present here. Christian and I have been planning the summer and it is certainly turning into a busy one. No time for stagnancy. My milk paint endeavors are coming out great, I hope to get 10 more liters from the milk man for the last of the windows. The fecia is painted, but needs to be nailed up..... With it so hot, it takes double the time to get anything done at the moment.

Next week at this time I will be on a overnight train to Bangkok, a week there, then onto Taiwan for 3 weeks. I have no idea what to expect from the farm there. The whole course Christian is teaching is being translated to Mandarin. I am hoping to learn the tricks of dim sum if nothing else. Also, another permaculture course under my belt will be great, just don't ask me to translate any of it.

Oh, now that my Thai time is almost up I finally learned today how to count to ten.

Please fill your days with joy and presence

sculpture made with lime plaster

Christian and Richard discussing the newly installed drip line

What an exciting day. I was wide awake at 3:30 anticipating the early morning trip we are making to the local dairy that on special occasion we get fresh milk from. Actually, I don't think the novelty of leaving the farm solely kept me awake, more the realization that my Panya time is coming to an end (for now) so soon. TWO WEEKS...
We did get 20 liters of fresh milk yesterday, mostly for the milk paint I am making from scratch to paint the windows and trip of the cottage with! Just like making cheese - curdling the milk, straining the curds, then mixing pigments and hydrated lime and a bit of linseed oil if desired. Voila, an amazing durable antiquesque looking paint! Christian did make some amazing rosemary and garlic farmers cheese that went on the veggie burgers I whipped up. YUM. We say YUM here A LOT!!!
So, back to our little early morning outing.... We want to see and take part in the milking process this morning, because the idea here is being tossed around about buying a pregnant dairy cow. We have sooo much grass, a thai family is currently building a little adobe brick house and are going to move here full time so they could help look after the cow, and we would have milk!!! Cheese, butter, yogurt, paint....... Manure for the gardens, manure for plasters!! That is what I am excited about. Fresh cow shit is amazing to add to a finish plaster coat. It adds durability, waterproofs, and a nice sheen with a sweet scent!!
Coffee is ready, I must go indulge, especially with FRESH milk!!

Livin it up Panya style

Where does time go after it has engulfed us in this present moment? What have become of the days except memories? Time is escaping and vanishing with every stomp in the mud pit, every sleep under a mosquito net, every batch of paint mixed, every laugh shared and every lesson learned in the never ending 'learning by doing' process. I have less than a month to check off all of the projects that I have added to my inspired idea list... And finish the ones that have been started that are eagerly awaiting completion... EEEEK !! I look around the farm, in awe at the progress and accomplishments that have been created not just by us (meaning the "lifer's"), but by hands from around the world, of all ages that have come to Panya to reach beyond their comfort bubbles of city life full of amenities, or expand beyond the binds of a text book, or break away from a routine, monotonous work schedule to expand on a different way of living life. The last group I will see at Panya this spring was the "save the best for last" group... 30 High Schoolers from the International School in Bangkok which can be translated as challenging for us, challenging for them, and in my mind, the one group I would want the week experience to make the biggest impact on. Now, this was the high school that Christian went to, his dad taught at for 12 years, a very prestigious, exclusive, highly rated academic school. Not known for their progressive environmental thinking though. Many of the students have never stepped foot outside the city perimeters, many, come to find out, didn't realize we are in a BIT of a global crises concerning oil and resource shortages, specie extinction, climate change and all of the chaos that culminates from these issues. Notice though, how I used the term "didn't". To back up a bit, my mental image of this group was derived from Christian who, having attended this school and leading the life with the interests and awareness he leads, made me think that this school promoted progressive, environmental, "out of the box" thinking. So when I found out that we could be dealing with freak outs regarding the compost squat toilet, the tents with all the creepy crawlies around, girls who like to take hour long showers and now forced to take navy showers to extremes, I was a bit apprehensive, but excited to hopefully inspire and present to them a simpler, but also fulfilling way to live life.

The first couple days was rough trying to get any bit of emotion or enthusiasm out of the students, but to their credit there was NO wining or acting appalled at the accommodations. After an attempted interactive conversation about peak oil and if that means any thing to them, most proved to be completely unaware or unfazed by any pertinence of the global situation.

So the days went by, demonstrating as well as we could that work can be fun, and "look at the amazing things one can build and create with local, free and reused resources, and with our own hands"!!

I was in charge of seeing that the whole cottage got painted with batches of natural paints that I created and meticulously tried to keep track of proportions so I could replicate colors and mediums. That proves to be a very difficult task for me as I start mixing away, adding a bit of color, a bit more clay, oh, a handful of sand here, maybe a splash of water.... Somehow though, the cottage is now a even toned "earthy" yellow, with earth red window frames. The boss in me kept coming out a bit to heavy with the kids as I was cracking the whip, and I often had to stop and remind myself this was a fun learning experience and we were not paying them by the hour!! The third day I saw the look of dread on their faces as the group gathered around the work site, the monotonous pains of painting obviously taking its toll.... I was also told that I worked like a robot.... OUCH .... So, thank god for the mud pit. It all started with Geoff and I diligently gathering buckets of mud (or mortar/plaster to be politically correct) so we could keep our child labor force rolling. Somehow the robots started malfunctioning, flinging bits of mud here and there. The full face splat that landed on me heated it up and the fight was on. One by one brushes were dropped, adobe bricks abandoned and we had a full on audience. It only took one adventuresome student to cannon ball in and the whole lot of them forgot about their clean panties and nails and joined in. I think that was the best thing that could have happened. A veil was lifted and spirits were raised. I even overheard a few comments saying how this is "so much cooler than school". So, all in all a success.


Before a group departs, we always have a reflection circle. We go around the circle so everyone has to talk, even if it is one word. Amazingly, these kids who were so bound up and shy and quiet had the most remarkable and moving comments. One of the more gregarious kids said how he wanted to look into community gardens in Bangkok. Another girl from Japan made the comment that she finally realized life can be "fun and cool without TV, and nature isn't that gross". Fun and cool were the words that summed up the circle, but still they were incorporated with new awareness of the environment and the fact that there is more to life then text book academics. Hearing comments like these made the whole week of nonstop effort and keeping things rolling completely worth every minute.

So, for the next month, nothing to do but sit back and consume our copious amounts of homemade wine and thumb through the pages of a good book while swaying in a hammock......

YEAH RIGHT. There are two houses (small bungalow style) that were started with the kids that need to be finished. "Leah's" house was destructed because of termite damage and is now being rebuilt, her being the designer. It is turning into quite the adobe brick fortress. Two other buildings need new thatched roofs before the rains, the gardens are in full production mode, with many veggie and fruit varieties being saved for seeds. I have a whole list of side projects on the cottage where I live that I would love to see done before my potential return next winter....
The days are split up now, with a 4 hour long 'siesta' mid day as it is getting WARM.
March 18th Christian and I head to Bangkok for a sustainability conference where Panya has an educational booth and Christian also is giving some talks and such... Then we have a few days to relax maybe on the beach and then we head to Taiwan for 2.5 weeks for the permaculture course that Christian is teaching and I am volunteering at!! Then I fly on home. Just in time for the snow to be melting!
My dear friends Mary and Peter flew back to Seattle today , they are the first to reintegrate themselves back into their former life. Leah and Geoffery leave this weekend.... Many short term volunteers will be coming and going, but it is hard to say goodbye to old friends, essentially family, and take the energy to meet new people when it is so temporary.

There are lessons learned and insights to be gathered from every intimate relationship that is created, whether it is a hour long connecting conversation, a lifelong friendship, a partnership, a romantic affair, or a group of people with very diverse personalities living extremely close and connected for 3 months. The challenges have been there especially with a few individuals, but I know that I will take with me the good and endearing qualities from all and the small annoyances that have arisen will disappear over time.








christian graciously giving a farewell toast to mary and peter




Christian and Geoffery all dressed up for our big night out

yup, that's what we call a good time

panya art show


mud fight!! (no better way to get kids to lighten up)

the cottage getting a facelift


Leah and I in destruct mode


the cottage still under construction

C and I on our camping trip

amazing artwork students from San Juan Island created

our very own winery!!

The beauty of Panya at sunrise

will you ,the toad turn into a prince??

The cottage in all it's unfinished glory

Reflections from a hammock

The hot season is rapidly approaching and the nightly routine of sweaters hats and socks has hopefully come to an end. Now is the time to start making the most of my afternoon siesta time, digest the wonderful pad thai heaped full of garden fresh veggies that Kea prepared for us and the visiting college kids from Bellingham, WA, and take the time to write a bit more of a detailed update. It must be the right moment because for once the keys on my computer are not sticking and I can type fluidly. The zinnias and sunflowers that we planted from seed in Nov. are in full bloom, bananas and papayas are falling off the trees and our gardens are bursting with deliciousness in every color shape and form. I "performed" my first song last night at open mic night which took place at You Sabbai, our neighbors natural building and thai cooking center on the hill behind us. It wasn't the most fluid rendition of Mason Jenning's Buddha song, but I had back-up support and a light hearted audience. I have spent the last two days on rickety Taiga-
Thai style scaffolding working on the second story of the cottage applying a 2nd coat of mud plaster before I can head up the really fun part, creating a finish natural plaster coat with some form of natural pigment added. I have also been sanding windows and doors, gave up attempting to make teak (extremely hard wood) look presentable by hand and broke out the power sander. In between I have been conjuring up lots of artsy fartsy projects including making a mirror with a sculpted mosaic frame, light shades with fabric bought at the market, and antiquing a beautifully carved wood piece I found broken at a wood shop and got a great deal on. I have taken on the responsibility of beautifying the property and adding bits of charm as most of the focus the last two years have been building the necessities and setting up gardens and planting fruit trees. That is not to say the place is charmless, because I wouldn't be here if there wasn't wonderful energy and charm, but there is plenty of space for artistic projects on a large and small scale.
It is great to be physically active again, two weeks sitting in a classroom environment took its toll on my body, but well worth it because so much was filled into my little head, making my brain want to explode with an overdose of incredible, inspiring, essential concepts and information that is vital to our future and harmonious existence on this planet.
To begin, a basic, surface level definition of permaculture is creating holistic, productive, sustainable systems that provide food and shelter in a way that mimics nature by following a set of design principles. We have a brilliant gent named Bill Mollison to thank for this concept, combining the words permanent and culture/agriculture to create permaculture. Since it was first actively brought forth in the 70's, the concept of permaculture has been evolving not just as a system to sustainably grow food, but an integrated way to live our lives.
The integration and interconnection of natural systems is what deeply resonated with me, opening my mind to so many realizations of the intricacies and brilliance of nature and how she works. All living and non-living beings and things that are derived from nature serve a purpose, whether it is visible on the surface level or not. Besides the obvious impacts humans have laden on the earth, the more complex systems that we are disturbing to me, is the scary part. This is where the evolution of permaculture, if followed and applied as a way of life could help immensely in the regeneration of the earth and it's inhabitants. Since permaculture is a design science, it follows a somewhat rigid outline. The first is a set of ethics. Earth Care, People Care and Resource Share. Without mindfully respecting these basic concepts, the science and system will fail. We must protect and rehabilitate our natural resources.... Old growth forests, wetlands, coral reefs, estuaries and water supplies, and degraded land to name a few. We must also heal the people and empower and educate so we can build a healthy, cooperative relationship with each other and nature. Lastly, sharing our precious resources so all can enjoy and prosper. Abundance for all is not a far fetched idea. The only limits of resources we have is our imagination. It just takes realigning our needs and wants and usage of resources.

Following permaculture ethics is the basic principles that outline how to start the 'design process'.
1.) The problem is the solution: you have slugs in your garden? Get a duck. Your slug problem is solved and you benefit from the compost and soil tillage and weeding the duck does for you.
2.) Multi-functions: for something to be used to its full potential it should have a least 3 functions. Ex) Mulch stops weed growth, holds water, and adds numerous nutrients and life to the soil.
3.)No pollution/no waste: What is waste? Something that goes unused. Rethinking where our "waste" goes, and if it can be reused and benefited somewhere else.
4.)Relative location: When designing, putting systems in place where they are useful and function efficiently with the least amount of energy while meeting all needs.
5.)Using biological resources and appropriate technology: Appropriate technology and alternative technology can go hand in hand, but also could end up on opposite ends of the spectrum. Obviously, wind, sun or hydro power are fantastic alternatives to grid electricity, but may not be appropriate for a certain situation. Digging a foundation, dam or swale by hand/animal power may be the most environmentally friendly, but not necessarily efficient. The input outweighs the environmental output. Being aware and making conscious decisions and considering all options usually can lead to a balanced, efficient and effective method of accomplishing our needs.
6.) Utilization of space.) Nature is our number one teacher here, and taking a walk into the forest and noticing all the different layers of vegetation growing and interacting can teach us so much about how we can redesign our garden beds and man made landscapes. Trees create a canopy layer or over story, smaller trees and shrubs create the understory, many plants make up a fern/herb layer, then there is a ground cover layer, a mulch and organic layer, under that a michoryzeal layer, and if that is not enough, think about all the climbing vine and creepy crawly layers!! The more niches and layers that are filled, the more supportive systems we are creating. Insects and birds will flourish, pollination increases, diseases and fungus are balanced out etc....
7.) Accepting Change!! Maybe one of the most important elements to remember. Nothing in nature is stagnant. Life is not stagnant.

Without even dipping into the actual science and application of these principles, I find that my eyes and mind have expanded. I could spend hours telling you about soil complexities, how deforestation may be the earth's number one threat, as forests hold in nutrients and organic matter and are continuously rebuilding the most important element to our survival. Healthy soil, to grow healthy food, to grow healthy beings. How forests regulate rain and drought and give sanctuary to an unfathomable number of species of animal and plant life. I have a whole new appreciation and understanding of all those nasty thistles and "weeds" growing in my field, and can now look at them as dynamic accumulators: Plants that dig their roots deep into the ground to bring nitrogen and other nutrients to the surface to heal sick, dead soil. I knew there was a reason every time the backpack sprayer was busted out.

I have pondered why we have gotten to this state as humans, derived from the earth, but to have separated ourselves and tried to control nature, abusing what we are part of. Some could argue that we must heal the earth first, before we heal the people, and I was part of this thinking in the beginning, my reasoning being, "what do we have if we don't have our beautiful world to live in". As Christian and Ethan so eloquently brought new perspectives up though, I have been shifting my views on that to realize healing people, empowering people to reconnect with their natural environment will start to heal the planted at the same time. If we only take the actions needed to rebuild soil, clean the air and water and find alternatives for oil without integrating and reconstructing communities to become healthy, wholesome, respectful and harmonious we will end up in the same viscous cycle we have come to find ourselves in. With this I must put my work clothes back on, and sink my hands into my bucket of mud before it dries up and I have to rework the whole mud pit. Tomorrow Lean and I leave for a border run to Laos to renew our visas, a 15 hour bus ride away to Vientiane, and hopefully the chance to see a bit of Laos culture and the great Mekong River.
Life is such a whirlwind full of possibilities and surprises. I feel so grateful to have these opportunities and am so thankful for all of the amazing and supportive people in my life. Keep smiling and enjoying every present moment.

This is Ping. She may be one of the brightest,
in tune 3 year olds I know, and has a very culturally diverse
environment to learn from. Sometimes I think she wonders
who her dad is though.....



The Taiwan crew serving up some authentic fare,
hopefully I can learn the secrets to their pot stickers and
Taiwanese pancakes while I am there!



Many thanks to our wonderful teachers,
Ethan and Christian




OOh, the compostables before our
claim to fame. I really do have real cow shit on
my hat, Meaghan is a banana and leah is the kicker,
road kill....

More to come... I promise......

10 days in silence

Welcome 2009. Slipping in so quietly, closing the curtain and saying goodbye to 2008. My thoughts were with all friends and family in all different time zones - which essentially means I celebrated the birth of a new year 5 different times, being awake and aware for all of them, but without a raise of a glass, a midnight hug or hooray, or even a passing glance. I was enjoying the new year 7 days into my ten day meditation. On the outside I was serene looking, sitting cross legged, my eyes closed and my demeanor most likely appeared calm and present. On the inside though, my thoughts were probably bouncing off the sides of my brain looking for some sort of outlet to be free to run rampant. My physical body feeling like it got sentenced to life inside a stone Buddha statue, crying for release and a good stretch. My meditation mat #59 became my best friend, molding to my ass cheeks as I logged over 100 hours in ten days fighting off the feeling of numbness. I know that probably sounds torturous, but in the middle of the third day a thought floated through my mind that indicated I may make it, enjoy it, and take a bit of insight and/or enlightenment from all this self-inflicted "torture".

Here is a brief description of vipassana meditation:
"To see things as they truly are, impermanent, and aware in each present moment. It is a simple and direct way to explore body, mind and heart. A balanced awareness grounded in the present moment leads to a growing sensitivity and understanding of the nature of life allowing for wisdom and compassion to emerge. Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion."

Each day that passed felt so long that three days in the "outside" world could fit into one day of my new reality. We rose at 4 AM, had a two hour morning sit, had breakfast and a break, another 3 hour sit, lunch and a rest, a 4 hour sit to a brief "tea time and light fruit" to another 3 hours of lecture and meditation. Some hours were more structured than others giving more guidance, and as the days went on the deeper and deeper the instructions would go. I was so tired the first few days I slept every break possible, wolfing down our simple meals to try to get in as much rest as possible. After the third day a bit of a change took place and I felt more energized, my body still stiff and aching, but I realized I did not need all the sleep I thought I did. I started walking on breaks, becoming more and more aware of the subtle breeze blowing through my pant legs, or the bricks gritty against my bare feet.
At times my thoughts raced about going on wild adventures and so far away from the present moment, something I was really trying to to grasp. Being present in this reality. I objectively studied my conscious patters and realized that I do spend sooo much time living in the future. Planning and daydreaming of all I want to experience, but in such a romanticized way. This is not always a bad trait, but we have one precious short life and I would like to enjoy the present for all it has to offer.
I was eventually able to calm my mind, focus on present sensations within the body, good and bad, objectively experience them without attachments, cravings or aversions and watch them pass. Dhamma, the universal law of impermanence. Everything changes and if we can learn to accept this law, not get swept up in the highs and lows, but remain equanimous to situations this will in turn lead to a life without drastic miseries, but harmony which will resonate and be beneficial to all beings.
Returning to the real world was quite the trip, a sensory overload spending 3 days in Chiang Mai, quite the bustling little city. I felt and still a bit feel, like a walking ball of vibrating molecules. Bursting into giggles at "ordinary" occurrences, and having great energized chats with friends from the farm I have run into. My sleep schedule is still erratical, I have been waking up between 330AM and 5, tossing and turning, then yes, returning to my morning meditation schedule. I doubt that schedule will last two long, but will relish in it while it does. I have by no means reached the depth of the subconscious that truly frees you from impurities and miseries, but have a new and inspiring technique and truth to apply in my daily life which has already changed how I view so many situations.
Tomorrow I deal with visa extensions which are getting more and more restrictive and EXPENSIVE, then head back to the serenity of Panya and nature!!! 3 days of peace and preparations and 25 + people arrive for the permaculture design course. A very intense 2 weeks in the classroom.
May happiness be upon all of you